Daughter’s Day

The fourth Sunday of September, dedicated to the Daughters, Happy Daughter’s Day.

Surprisingly, I did not know about that. Today in the morning I got messages from my mother and uncles, and it was the first time πŸ˜› But I was so happy, more than my birthday wishes. In my community, being a daughter is a different thing. especially as per the society, and my family is a part of that. (They love me πŸ™‚ ) . My mother never differentiates between my brother and me. My mother prefers me more than my brother, but when social norms come into the picture, she is a part of that. So now you get that why and how much I am happy.

I have a cute boy and love him so much. For me, son or daughter both are the same. They can do the same thing. The difference which I can say is boys need to teach the feelings, emotions, and girls are born with that. Other than that, I don’t see anything. So at my place, I am happy, and yeah I want a baby girl which I got from my sister-in-law so now I have a girl and boy 😊.

Son or Daughter does it matters at the end of the day they are your kid. In other countries they mean it but in India still, there is a problem, yes we are well educated, our girls are on the moon but still when we talk about kids, everyone wants a son, if the first child is a girl then everyone asking for next try, So you can have boy, funny but true. We believe the son carries forward the family name, and after marriage, girls belong to another family.

When girls marry and go to another family, they say she comes from a different family. She doesn’t get much respect there too, as they believe, because of the son the daughter-in-law is here. So again, the same loop. If you try to figure out the problem, there are lots of reasons some will say men’s society, some say because of men ego, okay right but deep down when the man was a kid, and he saw, the way his family treating to his sister or their thinking towards the girls, so he learns that. Even most of the time, women treat the girls in poor ways. Then who’s fault is this.

I know it’s not good thinking, but we have it. Now some of us are standing and opposing this concept. I admire and want to thanks them. We start the change, and our next generation will be proud. Son or Daughter both carry the family name. We are the ones who make society so together we can stand for our daughters, at that day we don’t need to celebrate one day for daughters, then all days for them. We can do one more thing, treat our daughter-in-law as a daughter. With that change in two places, we make women strong. She does not need to fight back in the home.Β 

A Daughter is a Future Strong Women. Treat both daughter and son in the same way, and we don’t need to teach sons how to respect women, and the girl doesn’t need protection. Equality gives you what you want to achieve.

Hope !

One day all will be good,

One day there will be sun only for you,

One day your hard work will be paid,

One day you get your love,

One day the morning will be happy, the evening will be peaceful,

One day nobody is there to humiliate you,

One day……

When is the One day,

When the wait is done,

When I have Not all, but a little bit….

I am pray for that Day…

God give me that One day, only for one day,

But please let me feel Alive for One day.

Bird in the nest !

I live in the apartment no trees around. Nowadays, it’s hard to see birds in the nest and impossible for my kid to see any bird in the nest. For him, birds fly or live in cages 😦 . Luckily on my balcony, a bird makes the nest. My husband said, “We must stop the bird. Otherwise there will be eggs, and if eggs fall then, that hearts me” he is right. Still, I promise him to take care of the bird and my son, so birdy and my monkey don’t disturb each other. Since the bird making her nest, each day is different for me. The more I am with her, the more I feel connected. It amazes me the complete process of Motherhood, whether it’s a bird or human. It’s God’s gift πŸ™‚ . I thought, let’s give words to that feeling.

My balcony is full of plants maybe that attract the bird. She keeps coming and sitting for hours. After three-four days, I notice that she is making a nest. What a fine architect she is. She gave proper support to the nest as it is only on one thin base and tightly tied with the iron bars and makes it safe as much as possible. In 6 to 7 days, she completes it. When I see her making the nest, getting all the soft stuff for would-be babies, I remember those days How I was preparing my baby’s nursery.

Nest is all ready…

The nest is all ready, and she did not move at all. I realized that she laid eggs. She flies away for some time then comes back, she won’t go too far, whenever I reach my balcony she comes back from nowhere. I can understand her, she is going to be a mother, and for now, her only job is to take care of herself and her babies. Sometimes I see another bird with her, and that one comes only to give her food. My son called that bird a dady bird, who flies away because he goes office. During my pregnancy, my husband used to do the same thing before leaving for the office, he arranged all of my stuff in an easy-access way. He never forgets about my craving stuff and baby carrot. Human or animal, End of the day, we are parents.

Eggs are hatching, and a tiny winy cute birdy is out. That’s the most beautiful moment. My kid is so happy, all day he is shouting. Every single time when the bird is out for food, he climbs up and starts looking at the babies. Now we have names Mumma bird, a baby bird, and a dada bird. Now Mumma bird comes with food, and babies open their mouths in the air for the food. Nobody teaches them what to do, but they know, just like the first time I feed my baby, and he knows what to do. At my time, I had this question, how my newborn knows to have milk, and my doctor says, don’t worry about that. After a half-hour of delivery, I nursed my baby, and that was the most satisfying feeling. I get it there are things which we don’t need to teach.

Now my morning starts with them. They chirping early in the morning. It’s so calming, peaceful, wake up like that. I am not an early riser, but now birdies are my alarm, and without snooze, I wake up and have tea with them. Baby birds are growing too fast, and now they are big and have no space for Mumma. When the Mumma bird is not in the nest, babies try to jump. That scares me, so I can imagine how scary for the Mumma bird. I observe one thing whenever Mumma bird is out for food, she keeps chirping so the baby bird can hear her, it’s my assumption, but with that sound, at least the babies don’t try to jump. When I see the naughty baby birds, that give me a sense The moment kids start feeling independence, they start their things, and being a parent our job is to keep saying No word. So I think Mumma bird is doing the same when she is not in the nest but keeps making a sound from far away πŸ˜›.

Baby birds

Birds are ready to fly, and soon they will be in the sky and leave their empty nest behind with their sweet memories. I am gone miss them. I can feel what the Mumma bird will feel. I correlate myself with her, a baby born, you raised him with all your love and care, one day he flies away that’s what you teach him, but in your deep heart you want to stop that, you want to hold the moment, you wish that your love one grows slow but it never going to happen they grows fast and now ready to fly. It’s a happy moment that your loved one is now in the world on their own you taught him well, A proud Parent, and sad because now they are not with you. I have no words to explain that feeling. I can only feel it. The day you become a parent, you assuredly feel it. With this feeling, I want to enjoy every single moment with my son.

Thanks to God, he gave us such a beautiful life and such beautiful emotion. When you feel it, you realize how pure the parents and kid relation is. It’s a responsibility, and God blessed us with that. Newborn to a flying bird, every moment is precious. When your little one reaches the sky, that’s the moment you feel proud and say, We did well.

What matters Effort or Result

Effort or Result. Which is Better. Some of you believe in Results, and some say Effort, and others think If you don’t put in your efforts, how you will achieve. There are lots of Prospective and never-ending debates. The question is how I come up with this idea. It comes from my daily jobs πŸ˜‰ .My husband and I have a little hot discussion about my son’s habits. I was telling him that when he writes, he needs to try to make it good, my husband suggesting that At least he is writing, and I should appreciate him. I told him that there is no denying his efforts. If he is learning writing, so put it in a way, he gets good handwriting. What is the purpose of work if you don’t get the desired result? So we come up with the Thought that I am a Result believer and my husband is Effort. (My kid was watching TV without any clue πŸ˜‰ ).

After that, our discussion ends, How our son is going to learn writing is still unclear, but at least we two come up with something πŸ˜‰ .

It gives me a thought, which one is the better way because this is everywhere, whatever you do it needs the same concept. I go with the Result-based thinking :

  • Result-based thinking gives you a clear picture of what you want to achieve. Accordingly, you can decide your efforts. Everyone wants their own house, so they work, save and try to get it.
  • With this thinking, you can make plans, timeline. You need to write a blog, plan your topic, do some research and start your work. Yeah, It can be extended but not forever.
  • As per the objective, you can analyze your work. after revisiting, you can make it right if something goes wrong. As Software engineers, Testers know what they want to achieve, and they work towards that. When they feel the development is not on track, they revise it.
  • Setting your efforts towards your goal encourage you. Without aim, at a certain point, you can be lost. Think about Football, players kick the ball towards the goal, so it’s fun. Now you say kick but no goal. Then what is the point of using muscles? 
  • You have a Goal, plan, timeline then you work accordingly. It helps you to find out your capacity.

Now Effort based thinking, if you are the person who concentrates on Efforts rather than Result so :

  • The Best example is Doctors. They put all their efforts into saving patients without knowing the outcome. we must be thankful for them.
  • Soldiers fight for us. They fight until they win or die, no time frame.
  • Having this perspective, you have your goal, and working hard for that now doesn’t matter when you achieve it. Like Scientists, they are doing a great job, but they work like this way. They put their 100% and keep working for new inventions. Sometimes get it, sometimes it takes years. Nobody knows the time frame.
  • When you put in work, you get to experience here you have no time frame, you trying new ways which open all your doors.

When your hard work pays nothing, then at someplace you lose track, you give up. Sometimes you are bored. But the same way, you keep thinking about results, then you never try a new way. Both have their pros and cons.

The only thing which is not good with results-based is “Achiever is the Hero” Nobody knows your name if you don’t win the race. Then What about efforts, Put all your efforts into achieving the goal and could not make it. You are not in the winning zone. That’s not fair with the person who puts all his efforts, deserves appreciation. No doubt the winner gets the reward with that the person who put efforts must be recognizable.

I admire Result-based thinking but would like to praise The Effort. Effort leads somewhere either towards Goal or lifetime ExperienceOthers Effort inspires you.

Efforts Vs Result.
Picture is from my garden, Effort and Result.

Crying allowed ?

When you cry, that doesn’t mean you are weak. Crying is another emotion which we need to let it go, yes crying is also good therapy for healing specially emotional healing.

What would happen if you don’t cry, first we need to understand when we want to cry, something which heart us deeply and we know nothing we can do to make it right, that’s the moment we feel cry like breakup, fail in exam something like that. Everybody has their own reasons, but we always says crying is not the solution, But Some time crying is the Solution.

You know the First cry of a baby, that cry helps him breath outside of womb very first time, that helps to clear extra fluid from his lungs, mouth and nose. Baby express everything with the cry hungry, sleepy, need attention everything. It’s fact after crying baby sleep calmly.

Crying helps to reduce the stress, when you cry lots of chemical reactions happen and with the tears they relies, in general terms when we cry everything is out. You get rid of that blue feeling. As tears moving out with that you feel relief. Once your all stress gone, you see the clear picture, you have clear thoughts.

What’s the harm in that, women cry a lot, world wide fact, they are emotional and they express it. if you see heart attack ratio men vs women, then men in danger zone. Men and women both have stress but women cry, they overcome with that, but men don’t, At certain point you need to get rid of your stress otherwise it start affecting your health.

I am not saying cry for everything, but if your tear is coming out don’t stop them. Let them flow, they do magic after they all finished, you feel stress free. That relief is the most important. Don’t think about anybody, what others think if you cry, it’s not your concern, your concern is your self. If you cry, you are not loser, instead of that you are brave, you are letting out your emotions and then you know how to deal with them.

So you tell me which is better way feel frustrated and don’t know what to do Or with clear mind chose your next move. Choice is all yours. emotion is the thing which we need to express, we can express happiness why not that blue one.

If you want to cry, cry alone, cry on some body shoulder, but let it out. Don’t say to your kid that “Don’t cry ” teach them how to handle the emotions. When I look around this New generation does not know how to express the emotions, what to do during the blue days.

My 4 year old says that his father can not see him when he is crying, I am trying to figure it out where did he learn this concept but now he learnt and I need to teach him opposite (I have daily New challenges) currently I don’t know how I will explain him but surely I will do that.

We need to make our next generation strong, specially emotionally strong, I am sure we can do together, with little efforts and lots of understanding.

When your tears out you can see the world with the prospective.
It’s my balcony view.

Who you are !

It’s quite interesting question, Who you are ? Did you ever try to find yourself or you go with the flow. The way life is moving and you are sitting in the boat , Never try in opposite direction of stream.

When you try upstream, you will figure out how world treat you, it’s true if you are with downstream, as per the people, you are a right person but in otherwise you are odd men out.

Why, because you are trying something which is off the book, that’s not allowed.

When you try to find your self, you need to go through lots of up and downs like river rafting, you have a good upbringing with the same rule book, now you are in the way where you are opposing the rule book with your new logics, At that moment you are fighting with yourself, with the world and you are all alone who has paddle. That’s call Life on adventure.

People has same thinking regardless of place, a simple example I belive men and women are same there is no difference, both earn, both take care of family, both are achivers but in society that’s not the fect, yes they treat you same but when it come for decision then it’s men oriented.you can experience at any place in your home, in you work place every where. Even there is term Men Igo, why can’t women has Igo πŸ˜› So when you behave like that way, you are odd men out. That’s our book, we got this idea like default one.we don’t want to pass on our kids but they get that.

I have other example kid gets father feature, it feel good but when kid is looking like mother still he gets, that you have father feature, offcourse with mother father 50 50 kid is here 100 percent so he get both them. Why only father feature. When I says this, I am the person who doesn’t know how to reply on comment or I am disrespecting. But why, if someone talking about my kid so I have full rights to answer him, how I am disrespecting Because I am not accepting what he is saying. That’s the way people think about you.

You are good person, you help everyone regardless of thier behaviour towards to you, but still you are in bad list because you are driving opposite the flow.

That’s why I said you can find true you, true friends,true lover whenever you drive the boat in upstream. Choice is yours. I tried I get it, it’s hard but worth to do.

Brother Sister ! The amazing Relationship

In India we celebrate The Rakhi festival you can say as Brother Sister day, where Sister tie a thread on Brother’s hand and Brother promise her To protect her. ( Life long bodyguard )

Illustration Of Brother And Sister Celebrating Raksha Bandhan Royalty Free  Cliparts, Vectors, And Stock Illustration. Image 14504611.

I have three brothers, my childhood is little complicated but when I recall time with brothers it was always amazing. We used to fight, fight a lot. Even still if we are in a room after some time we started again. We never agree at one point although we let it go things but never agree, that’s the beauty of this relationship You are not agree with each other Still you are Together. You always have your back no matter what happen.

You got friend when you start going out, but the day you born or your sibling you get a friend. He or she knows you Truly. You have all emotions love, jealous, frustration(it’s your sibling who introduced you with this feeling).

Think about it, you need motherly care or you want girl suggestion who is your first thought It’s Your Sister. you want somebody to protact you like father, but don’t want any restrictions like father who is your Men, Your Brother. That’s the Brother and Sister. Substitute of Mother and Father but without any No word, Without any asking just Be with you and Done. You can share anything with them.

I want this amazing feeling for my son, we decided to have only one kid So I always wonder how can I express this feeling to him, Thanks to god my sister-in-law blessed with cute little princess, the day she born I feel my kid got his best gift for his life. He called her little sister and He called him self Big Brother. He loves her, he was 4 year old when she born, he is soo frightened to touch her. He said I could heart her she is soo tiny. When first time he touch her, he uses his one figure only and said to me ‘Amma See She is happy’. When ever she cries he angry on me. To see them together I have no words for them, like my kid is 4 and she is newborn but still when they are together they know each other. At that day I realized That Emotion you can not express it, you can only feel it.

Brother Meets Sister - Imgur

New Blogger

I like to google, I googled everything, everybody do that, at some or other point. when I googled things and read them I realize there are lots of people they like to share their experiences and those experiences are inspiration for others. Sharing the Thoughts how beautiful it is πŸ™‚ .

With this idea I decided to share my thoughts, at first it was a bit scary for me, I question my self who will read me and why they read. Then I though lets give it a try, Nothing to lose πŸ˜‰

When ever I publish my blog I keep checking, Is there any body who read it πŸ˜‰ I feel triumph when ever I got single like, that inspire me to write more, yes being a new blogger it is the most amazing feeling that some body reading you, it may be he does not like it, may be he like it But he is reading you. That gives really different felling and encourage me to try new things.

Really thankful to blogger community who helps me to learn, to grow, to inspire. Being a new blogger it is scary thought for me that What if nobody like my writing but when I publish my first blog and the response it was not that much huge but for me it’s really a amazing. Thank you for accepting me as a part of you.


The Time

Hello, How are you. Since I restarted the blogging, its the longest period that nothing new pop up in my mind. even my husband asked me that you did’t blog any thing new and I gave him simple reason that “I did’t get The Time”.

Is it really true that I am not getting time or I am delaying my self with some excuse. Yes I have a kid, A house arrest husband(WFH πŸ˜‰ ) and complete messy house with my lovely garden and my one only betta. But any of this is stopping me, no Not at all, at least my kid and husband wants me to send the desert island, where I can shout and they don’t have to listen πŸ™‚ So If I am saying I did not get the time I need to blame someone I am The Human I can not except that I am the reason.

That is correct I was little bit occupied but not that much. I did as per the daily routine and this time new things in the To Do list, I should have update my planner instead of that, I was keep doing as per the routine. That was my mistake, I must revise to my plans and accordingly we can make room for other things. It happens with everyone, Sometime we realize and correct it and other time we just keep doing it.

What it feels, as per mine, I feel frustrated because I am not able to complete my To Do list and the pile of pending things increased day by day. I want to finish up but things is not in my hand and then the world famous excuse I am not getting enough time. With all of this I learn two things, Time will not wait for you, So be with the time. and second Stop Excuses and Start Working.

How to utilize the time